I just realized something. God pours rain to the good and the bad. I have not actually been a good person these days but He bless me continually. No matter how good or bad I have been.

I think that God is not demanding. He lets you decide on your own. He takes the sidelines and watch you. Watching you not like a jail guard does, but as a loving Father making sure His beloved will not get hurt as we do your thing. He lets you take your time because He is confident you'll surely find your way back to him. And this time you would be happy and content.